When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
