i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
