i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
