I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
