If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
