I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
