Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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