I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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