I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't turn off my feet"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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