I think i sorta joined a cult last night
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
