I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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