Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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