Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Randomize
