I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
