Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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