My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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