There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Someone signed my nipple.
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