I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
