His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
