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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.

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• (310): View more from California

  and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I GOT MY PERIOD!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  damn. i had names picked out.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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• (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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• (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?

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• (728): View more from

  and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'

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• (509): View more from Washington

  he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.

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