is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
