I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize