You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
