we're blogging at a bar
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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