I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
