Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
