yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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