Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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