Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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