doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
