I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
