Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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