I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
