Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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