I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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