I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
