why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
