Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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