i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
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