some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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