he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
