yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
