you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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