It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
