What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
