I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize