At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so let's talk penis.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize