Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
