I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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