go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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