Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
