He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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