Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
