My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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