I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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