White coat. Heels.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
