How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
