I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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