if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
