I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
