a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize