I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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