we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
